


Pink means you’re free

by Ididloveyou_once



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Brother-Sister Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Post-Episode: s04e13 Escape From Kadavo, Protective Anakin Skywalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28755933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ididloveyou_once/pseuds/Ididloveyou_once
Summary: His gaze was far away and his ungloved hand was clenched into a tight fist.‘Master,’ she questioned and his eyes snapped to hers. Suddenly he was surveying her, it was as if he was seeing her for the first time since returning. His eyes narrowed and Ahsoka sighed. She knew it, he was going to send her to the medbay.To her surprise he stayed silent and instead, he hooked his finger through the pink bracelet around her wrist. He looked at her curiously, ‘What’s this?’Or: Ahsoka finds a way to remember who she is and, ever the hero, she helps Anakin to remember himself too.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 11
Kudos: 112





	Pink means you’re free

It’s dark by the time Ahsoka wakes up. The _Resolute_ had hardly landed when she bolted from it only to be pulled back _again_ by Governor Roshti. She appreciated his kind words - really, she did - yet she couldn’t help but feel relieved when he finally let her leave. She flew to her quarters, collapsing, almost instantly, with a groan fully clothed onto her bed, her arm scrunched awkwardly beneath her. Now, several hours later, she was feeling the repercussions as she pulled and prodded at her bicep, trying to bring some feeling back to it. 

Her stomach grumbled and she sat up warily, running a hand across her cheek and feeling the pattern of indents that the pillow left there. Maybe she’d have a chance to wash her face or even shower so that no one would see her, bleary-eyed and decorated with lines revealing that all she had done since returning was sleep. 

A glance at the clock told her that she was not so lucky. 2200 hours. Perhaps there would be something left in the mess hall or maybe someone would, by chance, be working late and be more than willing to make her - _sweet, well-behaved, courteous Ahsoka_ \- something. 

She scoffed, catching the attention of some younglings as she trudged towards the mess hall. She glared at them, baring her teeth slightly and they scattered wide-eyed. She could hear her master chastising her in her head, _it’s not very Jedi like and it’s mean_ he’d say, _plus it creeps me out_ he’d add giving her that look that told her that _that_ was what actually got to him, not the other stuff.

She rolled her eyes and turned the corner into the mess hall, her master wasn’t here and what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. A sigh escaped her when she saw the silver shutters pulled down over the food counters but she couldn’t say she was surprised. She trudged towards the scarcely stocked refrigerator, only slightly disheartened.

Even so, she couldn’t help but wrinkle her nose at the various sandwich combinations before picking up something meat-filled and sitting at the nearest table. There were troopers dotted around but not too many and no one that she recognized, perhaps this was Master Secura’s squadron, she always tended to return from missions in the evening. 

Her stomach rumbled impatiently and she unwrapped her sandwich taking a sizable bite. She ate ungraciously, after all, there was no one to stop her from peeling away the bread in disgust and eating the slices of ham. She was well into her sandwich, well, slices of ham, when she remembered. 

She grinned and reached into her pocket, taking out the pink thread that she’d stolen from the sewing box right after waking up. She didn’t know where the idea came from, perhaps it was seeing people, _her_ _people,_ abused and imprisoned. Or maybe it was seeing Obi-wan, _Obi-wan,_ so worn down and frustrated. Or perhaps it was Anakin. She’d never seen her master look so shaken and so lost like he needed to do something, _anything,_ but he didn’t know what. 

She sighed and looked down, rubbing the bruised rings around her wrists. More likely, it was her. She was disappointed, she’d been captured astonishingly easily and she loathed herself for it - how many people could they have saved if she had just managed to get her lightsaber? Her mouth ran dry and she glared at the other half of her sandwich suddenly not so hungry. 

Ignoring the ache in her wrists she took the thread in her hands. With a steely determination, she started. She tied knot after knot, a low growl escaping her throat at every concerned glance the troopers would give her. She knew it was getting late. She wasn’t a youngling. 

Really, she knew that it wasn’t her disappointment that was getting to her. She was disappointed but, perhaps more jarringly, she was scared. Scared that she had been captured and relieved that she had been saved, even though so many hadn’t and so many never would be.

She was alone in the mess hall now. It was growing cold as it often did when night descended on Coruscant and the pain in Ahsoka’s wrists had become a persistent ache. She dully registered that she was trembling as she fumbled with the thread, tying it around her wrist - the bright pink a welcome contrast to the purples and blues beneath it. She admired her handiwork, both on her wrist and in her lap; they were a little messy but overall they looked good considering she’d never made anything before. She twirled the one that she wasn’t wearing around her finger. She hoped it would be big enough. After all, she couldn’t say she had seen him without gloves often. The sound of footsteps approaching interrupted her thoughts and a pair of shoes came into sight. 

She knew it was her master from his badly maintained boots but she looked up at him anyway, before sighing and looking away, his intense gaze burning into her side. With a light huff, he sat down beside her, resting his arms on the table and setting his head down on top of them. 

She didn’t know how long they sat like that. Not looking at each other, their gentle breathing making the silence bearable, barely. 

In the end, it was him that broke it -

‘I’m sorry,’ his voice cracked and he swallowed. ‘I should’ve come to find you earlier, after everything.’

Ahsoka met his concerned gaze, surprise etched on her face.

Then, she just shrugged, ‘it’s fine Master we both had other things to deal with,’ her voice came out scratchy and weak. Surprised, she rubbed at her neck, that hadn’t happened when she was talking with Governor Roshti. 

His eyes snapped up to her, widening with concern, ‘have you been to the medbay?’ 

She rolled her eyes at his worrisome expression and gave him a pointed look as if to say, _have you._

He sighed and reached out to lift her chin gently, his eyes narrowed as he surveyed the damage. With a groan of exasperation he took off his glove and ran a calloused finger against the bruising, she flinched.

‘Master,’ she hissed, pulling away with a glare. ‘That hurt!’ she reached up protectively and pulled her lekku around to the front as if hiding the bruising would make it disappear. She didn’t want to go to the medbay. She wasn’t a youngling and the thought of someone she hardly knew touching her made her skin crawl and the small amount of sandwich that she’d eaten threaten to come back up. 

He laughed breathily, ‘then you should probably go to the medbay.’ 

He tried to sound normal, light and teasing, but the words fell flat. Ahsoka could see the concern in his eyes but also the exhaustion, the anger and a resounding sadness. His eyes were red-rimmed and his lips trembled with every breath. His jaw jumped as he stared hard at the table and she almost laughed. She’d thought she looked bad, he looked sick. 

‘Maybe _you_ should go to the medbay Master,’ she ventured cautiously.

He swallowed and looked down in defeat, ‘maybe.’

She knew it was an empty promise but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t surprised. He never admitted he was hurt and, whilst far from an admission, this was the closest she’d ever heard to one coming from his lips.

She saw him eyeing the sandwich and she crossed her arms defensively.

‘It was too late to get food and that was the only meat they had,’ she glared at him and he chuckled taking the other half from the packet. 

‘Did you touch this?’ 

She shook her head and he took a bite, ‘ _besides_ since when do you care? You eat anything, you’re disgusting.’

He raised his hands in surrender, ‘Woah Snips, what did I do? I just didn’t want to bite into this to find out that you’d pulled it apart with your tiny claws and eaten all of the meat out of it.’ 

Her eyes flickered to the bread still left from the other half of the sandwich and he laughed, ‘see, that’s what I mean.’

She sighed and pulled her knees up to her chest letting her head rest on them. It was even colder now and she wished she was wearing something that covered her a little more, perhaps then she wouldn’t be shivering. Her thoughts flickered back to the slaves and what they had to wear, what _she_ had to wear. She drew her legs closer to her chest protectively. _She was a Jedi, not a slave._ She glanced down at the pink bracelet around her wrist and took in a calming breath. She repeated the mantra, more composed this time; she was a Jedi, not a slave. Still, that was only by chance and some weren’t so lucky.

She shuddered. 

‘It’s over now.’ She heard her master whisper from beside her more to himself than her but she nodded in agreement anyway. _It’s over now._

The desire to apologise danced briefly around her head. For what, she wasn’t sure. Perhaps for her master’s pain or his past or maybe to quench her own guilt and regret. She shook the thoughts away, bringing up his past wouldn’t help. Instead, she asked him, albeit a little desperately, 

‘Are you disappointed -’ her voice dropped to a hoarse whisper, ‘in me?’

She coughed and took a deep breath in, steeling herself for the answer before asking again louder, ‘are you disappointed in me?’

She could feel his gaze burning into her but she couldn’t look at him. Her heart yearned for him to reassure her, to tell her that she did all that was within her power. But she knew, deep down, that she could have done more and still, she was relieved that it was over and the guilt that relief brought with it made her feel sick.

She felt the gentle weight of his hand on her shoulder and she met his eyes, feeling stupid for asking such a weak question. He was looking at her like she was... like she was - she _wasn’t_ a youngling.

She growled slightly, pulling away from him, ‘Forget it. It was a stupid question.’ 

‘Sorry Ahsoka,’ he sounded surprised and he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, ‘I just - no, I’m not disappointed in you. How could I be? You saved all of those people _and_ you put up with pretending to be _my_ slave, imagine having a Master like me,’ he nudged her good-naturedly.

Her smile in response was more of a grimace as she fought to keep her lip from wobbling. 

His tone melted into one of understanding as he continued, ‘you’re a Padawan Snips. You don’t have to feel guilty for not saving everyone that’s on me, not you. You’re allowed to be happy that it’s over, you’re allowed to rest.’ 

His voice was soft like he was talking to himself again and she couldn’t help but wonder if that was his mantra, you’re allowed to be happy that it’s over. The words danced in her mind. You’re a Jedi, not a slave.

She looked up at him, suddenly determined. His gaze was far away and his ungloved hand was clenched into a tight fist.

‘Master,’ she questioned and his eyes snapped to hers. Suddenly he was surveying her, it was as if he was seeing her for the first time since returning. His eyes narrowed and Ahsoka sighed. She knew it, he was going to send her to the medbay. 

To her surprise he stayed silent and instead, he hooked his finger through the pink bracelet around her wrist. He looked at her curiously, ‘What’s this?’

Her lekku flushed slightly and her cheeks felt warm, ‘I made it.’

‘I can see that,’ he smirked, looking at her expectantly.

Ahsoka looked down suddenly embarrassed, she pulled her arm away and picked at hands.

‘It wasn’t nice,’ - she gestured to the bruises - ‘being handcuffed.’

His mouth popped open in surprise, ‘Oh. Did they hurt?’

‘No. I’m bruised for no reason.’

‘I meant more than usual,’ his voice trailed off and he grimaced.

‘It wasn’t because of the pain. I can handle that-’

‘Oh, really?’ he mused, raising his eyebrow in a manner so similar to Master Kenobi that she couldn’t help but roll her eyes. 

‘ _Yes_ , Master. It was more because of what they meant.’

He waited expectantly and she took a deep breath before continuing, ‘I couldn’t _do_ anything but wait for you. Do you know how frustrating that is? Every time I tried they’d electrocute me and threaten me and I couldn’t do anything about it. Yes, I _knew_ they wouldn’t be able to act on their threats because I _knew_ you were coming to help me but what if you weren’t there? Then I’d be at the mercy of _slavers_ ,’ - she spat the word - ‘I should’ve been able to do something to complete the mission. But I couldn’t. I didn’t feel like a Jedi, I felt like a -’ her voice trailed off and she swallowed, ‘I felt helpless.’

Her throat ached and she rubbed her hand soothingly across the base of her neck. She watched her master stand up and walk over to the fridge returning moments later with a bottle of water. She gulped it down gratefully, losing her voice meant no missions and no missions meant studying - she drank more ferociously.

She could feel his gaze burning into her side and she looked at him. His expression was conflicted somewhere between sadness, anger, pity (her nostrils flared), but mostly he looked tired.

She sighed, offering him a small smile, ‘so I made this. If I was a slave I’d be wearing handcuffs. But I’m not, I’m wearing this.’

‘I should never have let you come,’ he gritted out firmly and Ahsoka’s eyes widened in surprise that quickly turned to anger.

‘ _Excuse me?_ ’ 

‘No Ahsoka,’ he clenched his fists, ‘I _know_ you’re not a youngling but you _are_ a child. I don’t know what the council was thinking letting you dress as a slave, _a pleasure slave at that_ , did they even think about what they’d do to you if -’ his voice trailed off and he took a deep breath, ‘I don’t know what I was thinking Ahsoka. I should have said no. You’re a child.’

She looked at him hunched over the table, his mechanical hand clenched so tightly the metal squeaked and his flesh hand trembled. She was angry but with each shuddering breath he took it melted away. Despite herself, she shrugged and echoed his words from earlier, ‘It’s over now.’

She felt his surprised gaze and then, with a slight huff, his body slouched forward, un-tensing for what Ahsoka sensed was the first time since he’d sat down. 

She looked at him softly and he snorted, ‘I’ve never seen you look so old.’

A grin pulled at the corners of her mouth, ‘ditto.’

He gasped in mock-offence, ‘I’m wounded.’

She laughed and he shoved her playfully. She pushed him back, harder and he fell backwards, the bench wobbling with him.

‘Okay-’ he mused nodding, ‘so that’s how it’s gonna be huh?’

And then he was tickling her and her giggles became howls for him to stop. She might have allowed it if it was fair, if she could defend herself or at least get revenge, but it wasn’t. As she’d found out a long time ago now, he wasn’t ticklish. Eventually, after a particularly loud scream, he let her go. Both of them panting out of breath and weak giggles still falling from Ahsoka’s lips. 

A few moments passed and they fell into silence. Ahsoka could hear the mechanical whirring of his hand as he flexed it and, suddenly, the sound of her breathing felt too loud. Their laughter had dissipated and it left her heart heavy, the lump in her throat returning.

A flash of pink caught her eye and she took in a breath of surprise - she’d almost forgotten! Ducking under the table, perhaps a little clumsily, she picked up the other bracelet. The embarrassment she’d felt previously had all but disappeared and she grinned at him hiding the bracelet behind her back.

‘Give me your hand.’

He smirked, raising his eyebrows and she rolled her eyes,

‘Not _that_ hand. You know what I mean.’

She was practically bouncing with anticipation when he rested his arm in front of her. She reached forward and he shifted, his eyes narrowed,

‘You’re acting weird.’ 

She raised one of her white eye markings at him in disapproval before taking the bracelet and tying it carefully around his wrist. She wasn’t sure whether she was trembling from the cold or nerves. Jedi aren’t supposed to own unnecessary things like gifts or bracelets. 

‘You’re allowed to be happy that it’s over,’ she whispered hoarsely, ‘you’re a Jedi, not a slave.’

She let go of his arm and let her hands fall awkwardly into her lap. She studied her hands for a moment, reluctant to meet his eyes. Her teeth worried her lip and she picked at her skirt, concerned that she’d only confirmed his assessment that she was a child only capable of completing harmless, _simple_ missions and (she winced) _studying_. 

After a few moments, when she did look up at him, he was looking at her with a fondness that made her flush and return her gaze to her hands. Somehow, the same softness that she’d only ever experienced from Master Plo, felt different replicated by her master. It felt like being known and accepted, like being flawed and loved.

‘So,’ he made a choking sound, ‘we have matching bracelets now?’

A smile pulled at the corners of her mouth, ‘am I really that bad?’

She met his gaze, glad to see that his expression had morphed into a smirk. His eyes danced teasingly. 

‘I suppose you’re alright. Besides, I can’t believe how _good_ pink looks on me,’ he twisted his arm, admiring it.

Ahsoka grinned, relaxing slightly, ‘You don’t think they’ll make us take them off? You know, because we’re Jedi.’

The softness returned to his face and she noticed that his eyes were wet. Something twisted in her stomach at the thought that the bracelet could mean just as much to him as it did to her.

‘Nah, I don’t think so. We’re at war, they don’t care. And since when do I listen to them anyway?’ he winked and she smiled. 

With that, he stood up his gaze wary but a flicker of a smirk pulled at the corners of his lips. Her eyes narrowed and she was about to question him when- ‘You still wanna steal _Dejarik_ from off the _Negotiator_? We can finally have that rematch you’ve been begging me for.’

‘I hope you’re ready to lose, Master,’ she grinned and together they left the mess hall in a silence that wasn’t sad or uncomfortable but affectionate and knowing. There was an understanding between them that wasn’t new but was suddenly more tangible and Ahsoka swayed, giddy with the softness of it.

They fell into step with one another easily as they left towards the temple hangar. After all, it was late and there were warmer, more comfortable places to sit.


End file.
